I was at work earlier.

A woman came to my register, and I said the normal thing, “Do you have a rewards card?”
She said yes and gave it to me. I scanned it in and looked at my screen and I saw her name was MCGONAGALL!
Then I looked to the side of the screen, in hope and disbelief when I saw that she is, in fact, a teacher!
She just needs to change her name from Kate or Katherine or whatever it was to Minerva.

I’m so hung over, I just got upset because the CAPS were too loud.

I met the coolest little kid at work yesterday.

There were these twin girls, probably 3 or 4 years old, and they were wearing the same outfit. One was shy and just hanging out by herself kind of far away, but the other one ran right up to my register and screamed “Hi!” with this huge smile.
I said something really lame like “I don’t want to alarm you, but that kid over there looks just like you.”
She just looked at me with this dead serious face and said “Oh, her? She’s just my hologram. I bring her around to confuse people.”

Jayna is sitting at the table near me looking at a christmas magazine and all I can here is;
“I don’t need a crock pot.”
“OMG JUSTIN BIEBER”
“What kind of man wears leaves?”
“Holy crap that’s a big puzzle. It’s bigger than the child!”
“How is a dog going to have fun with a stuffingless toy? He’d be like Uh, yeah, there’s a blanket in my mouth?”